Coach’s Wife Criteria

When I married my coach, being the OCD teacher I am, I needed to know my place. I wished there was some type of rubric out there for me to follow, or even a checklist! LOL

I remember calling him years ago to ask him if he thought it was okay for a coach’s wife to wear ripped up jeans. Of course it had to be considering that was all I owned! =)

That’s just a small example of the feeling that we have on meeting the standards of a coach’s wife. We have to make a good impression, just as our husbands. Our husband’s success is not only measured in his job, but also measured in his character and family. Yep! I do believe this. I think coach’s must lead by example on and off the field. They need to show these boys how to treat a woman and family. They are not only teaching the game but also coaching lives.

I am no expert. I am a new coach’s wife. But I have figured out a lot in these past few years that I think can be helpful to you who feel out of place or unsure on the prerequisites (if you may) as a coach’s wife.

Show Up!

Show up and be involved. Go to as many games as you can, even the out of town ones. Show up to practices, even if for just 15 mins. Show up and help with fundraisers. Go to the radio shows and let the kids wear the headphones. Be at every event you possibly can to not only show your husband you support him, but to show the boys and the community that you and your entire family are ALL IN! I can not express this enough!

Support Him!

Even when you want to kill him! Yep, sometimes our husbands aren’t perfect, I know that is hard to believe! LOL This is such an important and difficult task as a wife! Support his decisions, his calls, his ideas, and his dreams. I know this can be difficult to do at times. Just as Ephesians 5:22 states, “wives understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.” This is what we are called to do, to be our husband’s number 1 fan on and off the field. Our husbands are the “head” of our family and the team. We as wives serve as the “neck”. The neck supports the head, and helps the head to fulfill all it’s tasks. Just go ahead and smile, because he DOES need you! =)

Support These Boys!

My husband is the Head Coach of our Football Team and Athletic Director. He likes to go to every in town event that he can. Our kids and I try our hardest to pick at least one event to go to per week to show these boys how much we love them and how much they mean to our family. Our son has one particular player that he truly loves. He prays for him and insists that he is his brother. He always has to bring this player his favorite drink or snack to his baseball games. There is no doubt we will have players be a part of our lives forever because we try our hardest to show how much we love them even when it’s not football season!

Make Traditions!

We are still considered newlyweds and this is something we are still working on. I think traditions make this whole football experience even better, not only for our kids but for us! Whether it be a signal from the field from him or a signal from the stands to him, or a certain coffee cup on Friday morning, or a certain saying. Get that one thing that is special and meaningful to you all!

As you can see, these are just my thoughts on MY criteria for being the Best coach’s wife I can be! These might not be for you and your coach, and that is absolutely okay! Make your own list! Thank the Lord there is not a written in stone standard that every coach’s wife must follow.

Thank you Lord for continuing to bless my football family. I love this Coach Wife Life!

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I See. I See It All.

I see the long hours. I see the leaving before 6:00 am and not returning home till after 10:00 pm. I see the 7 day work weeks. I see.

I see the exhaustion. I see all the weight on your shoulders from being pulled in every direction possible. I see you dealing with paperwork, preparing for practice, actually practicing, breaking down film, keeping the fields maintained, teaching the boys plays, and even doing the team’s laundry. I see your fatigue. I see.

I see your stress. I see your stress over the players making the right choices every day in and out of school. I see your stress over the boys keeping their grades up. I see your stress of managing and delegating to your coaches. I see your stress of trying to squeeze in family time with me and the kids. I see.

I see your passion. I see how passionate you are about your job and how you are ALL IN all the time. I see how passionate you are about not only winning these games for these boys, but winning over their hearts and minds. I see how passionate you are about building relationships. I see you picking up kids to bring them to summer school and taking kids home after practice. I see you going to every coaching clinic you can. I see.

I see your guilt. I see your guilt of feeling like you can’t do it all. I see your guilt of not eating supper with us. I see your guilt of missing our kid’s practices or games. I see your guilt of feeling like you let someone down because you have so much on your plate. I see.

I see you sacrificing. I see you giving up your weekends and nights. I see you going without lunch or dinner. I see you missing our annual family beach trips. I see you not sleeping. I see.

I see your rewards. I see these boys who love, honor, respect, and trust you with everything. I see these boys who still call and come around years after they graduate. I see the boys who call late at night because they don’t think they can make it in college football. I see you encouraging them and telling them just what they need to hear to help them feel refreshed and ready to try again. I see these boys who look up to you in more ways than just football. I see you never letting them down. I see.

When I see you I see the one I love with every ounce of my being. I see the one I was made for and the one I need. This life is hard and not all people are made to live this life. It is tough, but I am so thankful God chose me to live this life by your side. I love this Coach Wife Life!

It’s More Than Just a Game!

I don’t know about you but the statement that makes my blood boil the most is when I hear, “It’s just a game!”. People that have not lived this life literally have NO IDEA how much more football is than “just a game”.

Football is my husband’s passion, therefore it is my passion. There is no doubt this is his calling. When people belittle his calling by saying it’s just a game infuriates me. This happens to be his job that pays the bills, yes. But the bigger picture is him advancing God’s kingdom.

My coach might be the only father figure, encourager, listener, or supporter that these boys have. And let me tell you he is all of that and more to these boys. He is developing, guiding, and shaping these young men in so many more ways than just football. He is preparing these young men for life.

In our lives, there are so many skills that I believe are absolutely necessary to be successful. Most of these skills are skills that my husband reinforces and shows by example daily to his players.

  • How to handle Triumph & Failures
  • Teamwork (so many jobs REQUIRE this)
  • Discipline
  • Leadership

I honestly believe truly understanding and demonstrating these skills will help these young men be more successful at their jobs and relationships in general.

This game is my husband’s ministry and mission. He is not only trying to win games but he is mostly trying to win these boys. He wants to win over their hearts, minds, and trust. This is a bond that he shares with these boys that goes way beyond the field.

What’s even better is the bond my 6 year old son has with these players. He has 100 big brothers that are looking after him. They always make him feel like a part of the team. To see my son’s eyes light up when he is with them makes my heart so happy.

As you can see this game is so dear to all of our hearts! I am so thankful to be a part of something more than just a game. I love this Coach Wife Life!

Deep breath girl. You got this!

The first thing I think about when I open my tired eyes in the morning is everything that I must accomplish that day and the little amount of time I get to complete these tasks. Just those thoughts overwhelm me and I begin the day thinking I failed at this mom and wife thing.

How many wives and moms go through every day feeling content with checking off everything on their to-do list? I am sure, not many if any!

You are not the only one who thinks working full time, being a mom, and being a great wife is virtually impossible every single day! I know some days you rock it, but let’s be honest that is not every day!

You are not the only mom who sees other moms making the cute treats for their kid’s class and think Lord I suck! You are not the only one who sees other moms attending every school function and think my poor kid is missing out. You are not the only one who hears stories of husbands and wives going on romantic getaways or even actually going on a simple date and think our marriage is failing. You are not the only one swinging through a drive-thru for dinner while wishing you could be that mom that cooks every night.

You are NOT the only one!

I have days where I feel like I can conquer the world and then days where I feel like an absolute slob and only want to watch Lifetime and eat ALL DAY!
Yes, this is my living room often! Laundry is my worst enemy and I know I am not alone here!

It’s ok Momma!!! It is ok to have those days where you stay in your PJs all day and don’t even brush your teeth. It’s ok to not be the Mom of the Year or the Best Wife Ever every single day.

When you have days like this enjoy your “day off” and try again tomorrow. It’s ok to cry and think poor pitiful me. But do not unpack and stay there! Cry it out in your bed and then get back up and refocus!

Momma, it’s normal to have these feelings! We all compare ourselves to other moms and wives. STOP doing that! Most of these comparisons come from social media. Social media has caused us to be jealous of illusions. Most of these things we as moms and wives are envious of do not even exist! Comparison is the thief of joy. Do not let it steal your joy!

  • You got this!
  • You are enough!
  • You are a great mother!
  • You are an amazing wife!

You are unstoppable not because you do not have failures, doubts, or insecurities. But because you kept on going when you thought you could not.

Sometimes I think we as coaches’ wives think we have to be tougher than others, but we don’t! We are normal and have these feelings and live emotional roller coasters too. Just embrace the highs and race through the lows of being a coach’s wife and momma!

You were handpicked to live this life with your Hubs and serve right beside him, what a blessing!

Enjoy this Coach Wife Life and remember to breathe!

10 Signs That You ARE a Coach’s Wife

  • 1. You can NOT decide which spirit shirt to wear to the game because you literally have 3 drawers full!
  • 2. You feel like a single parent from June-December. But to top it off you are failing miserably at home cooked meals, a clean house, and the pileS of laundry!! Yes, PILES!
  • 3. Your coach is constantly asking you whats a good signal for this call or that call.
  • 4. “Date Night” consists of watching film, washing uniforms, or going to watch other games! But you love every minute of it because you are finally getting some time with him!
  • 5. You have the biggest and most comfy stadium seat ever. Mine is ginormous, and I get a lot of questions! LOL
  • 6. While on vacation it is a MUST that we drive by any high school football stadium within a 15-mile radius.
  • 7. You have a list of go-to recipes for when you have to feed “the boys”.
  • 8. Every mirror in your house has a dry erase marker nearby to jot down plays that pop in his head. Yes, all of my mirrors have several plays on them. Even my 6 year old follows suit! =)
  • 9. You learn that when your coach says he will be home at a certain time you always add AT LEAST 2 hours to that time. This is something I really struggled with, but have learned to accept.
  • 10. Last but not least, you are proud of him win or lose. You support his decisions, (even when you don’t agree or understand), but you honor him by supporting him and encouraging him. You are his #1 fan!!

I say all of this to you to remind you that you are NOT alone. All of your thoughts, struggles, and frustrations are real. We all feel these emotions. It has helped me enormously to hear from other wives to know that it is not just me. Reach out to other coach wives, vent your frustrations, but most of all be understanding that this job of your husbands is not just a job. It is his calling. I know without a doubt my amazing husband is doing what God has called him to do. If that involves date nights washing uniforms, late hours, and dirty mirrors so be it. Because he is doing what God has called him to do and I am blessed to get to be a part of him serving.

I am thankful that I get to live this Coach Wife Life!!!

Our Starting Lineup

Welcome to the chaotic, yet wonderful, Coach’s Wife Life! I had no idea what I was getting into when I married a Head Football Coach two years ago! Boy was I in for an eye-opening surprise! It’s been scary, stressful, rewarding, and life-changing in so many ways. I am sure if you are reading this you can relate to this crazy thing we call a football family!

My wonderful hubby and I were “high school” sweethearts. Well, that is a tricky statement considering I was NOT in high school, but in college dating a high school guy! =) Yea, I guess you can say I robbed the cradle! haha! I am so thankful I did! Our story is truly a Lifetime Movie that I know I will share with you all in the future.

We have two wonderful children. Ella Claire is our sassy 11-year-old and Abram is our football loving 6-year-old. I must say Coach B is an amazing step dad and our kids are so blessed to have him in their lives. He took on this fatherhood thing overnight and he has rocked it (like everything he does)!

I hope to use this blog as an outlet for me, but also as a source of encouragement for other wives like me. I am a full time working mom, mother of two, trying to conceive #3, and married to a coach. When I actually see all that in writing it stresses me even more! LOL I guess this is just a part of living the Coach Wife Life!