Coach’s Wife Criteria

When I married my coach, being the OCD teacher I am, I needed to know my place. I wished there was some type of rubric out there for me to follow, or even a checklist! LOL

I remember calling him years ago to ask him if he thought it was okay for a coach’s wife to wear ripped up jeans. Of course it had to be considering that was all I owned! =)

That’s just a small example of the feeling that we have on meeting the standards of a coach’s wife. We have to make a good impression, just as our husbands. Our husband’s success is not only measured in his job, but also measured in his character and family. Yep! I do believe this. I think coach’s must lead by example on and off the field. They need to show these boys how to treat a woman and family. They are not only teaching the game but also coaching lives.

I am no expert. I am a new coach’s wife. But I have figured out a lot in these past few years that I think can be helpful to you who feel out of place or unsure on the prerequisites (if you may) as a coach’s wife.

Show Up!

Show up and be involved. Go to as many games as you can, even the out of town ones. Show up to practices, even if for just 15 mins. Show up and help with fundraisers. Go to the radio shows and let the kids wear the headphones. Be at every event you possibly can to not only show your husband you support him, but to show the boys and the community that you and your entire family are ALL IN! I can not express this enough!

Support Him!

Even when you want to kill him! Yep, sometimes our husbands aren’t perfect, I know that is hard to believe! LOL This is such an important and difficult task as a wife! Support his decisions, his calls, his ideas, and his dreams. I know this can be difficult to do at times. Just as Ephesians 5:22 states, “wives understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.” This is what we are called to do, to be our husband’s number 1 fan on and off the field. Our husbands are the “head” of our family and the team. We as wives serve as the “neck”. The neck supports the head, and helps the head to fulfill all it’s tasks. Just go ahead and smile, because he DOES need you! =)

Support These Boys!

My husband is the Head Coach of our Football Team and Athletic Director. He likes to go to every in town event that he can. Our kids and I try our hardest to pick at least one event to go to per week to show these boys how much we love them and how much they mean to our family. Our son has one particular player that he truly loves. He prays for him and insists that he is his brother. He always has to bring this player his favorite drink or snack to his baseball games. There is no doubt we will have players be a part of our lives forever because we try our hardest to show how much we love them even when it’s not football season!

Make Traditions!

We are still considered newlyweds and this is something we are still working on. I think traditions make this whole football experience even better, not only for our kids but for us! Whether it be a signal from the field from him or a signal from the stands to him, or a certain coffee cup on Friday morning, or a certain saying. Get that one thing that is special and meaningful to you all!

As you can see, these are just my thoughts on MY criteria for being the Best coach’s wife I can be! These might not be for you and your coach, and that is absolutely okay! Make your own list! Thank the Lord there is not a written in stone standard that every coach’s wife must follow.

Thank you Lord for continuing to bless my football family. I love this Coach Wife Life!

I See. I See It All.

I see the long hours. I see the leaving before 6:00 am and not returning home till after 10:00 pm. I see the 7 day work weeks. I see.

I see the exhaustion. I see all the weight on your shoulders from being pulled in every direction possible. I see you dealing with paperwork, preparing for practice, actually practicing, breaking down film, keeping the fields maintained, teaching the boys plays, and even doing the team’s laundry. I see your fatigue. I see.

I see your stress. I see your stress over the players making the right choices every day in and out of school. I see your stress over the boys keeping their grades up. I see your stress of managing and delegating to your coaches. I see your stress of trying to squeeze in family time with me and the kids. I see.

I see your passion. I see how passionate you are about your job and how you are ALL IN all the time. I see how passionate you are about not only winning these games for these boys, but winning over their hearts and minds. I see how passionate you are about building relationships. I see you picking up kids to bring them to summer school and taking kids home after practice. I see you going to every coaching clinic you can. I see.

I see your guilt. I see your guilt of feeling like you can’t do it all. I see your guilt of not eating supper with us. I see your guilt of missing our kid’s practices or games. I see your guilt of feeling like you let someone down because you have so much on your plate. I see.

I see you sacrificing. I see you giving up your weekends and nights. I see you going without lunch or dinner. I see you missing our annual family beach trips. I see you not sleeping. I see.

I see your rewards. I see these boys who love, honor, respect, and trust you with everything. I see these boys who still call and come around years after they graduate. I see the boys who call late at night because they don’t think they can make it in college football. I see you encouraging them and telling them just what they need to hear to help them feel refreshed and ready to try again. I see these boys who look up to you in more ways than just football. I see you never letting them down. I see.

When I see you I see the one I love with every ounce of my being. I see the one I was made for and the one I need. This life is hard and not all people are made to live this life. It is tough, but I am so thankful God chose me to live this life by your side. I love this Coach Wife Life!

It’s More Than Just a Game!

I don’t know about you but the statement that makes my blood boil the most is when I hear, “It’s just a game!”. People that have not lived this life literally have NO IDEA how much more football is than “just a game”.

Football is my husband’s passion, therefore it is my passion. There is no doubt this is his calling. When people belittle his calling by saying it’s just a game infuriates me. This happens to be his job that pays the bills, yes. But the bigger picture is him advancing God’s kingdom.

My coach might be the only father figure, encourager, listener, or supporter that these boys have. And let me tell you he is all of that and more to these boys. He is developing, guiding, and shaping these young men in so many more ways than just football. He is preparing these young men for life.

In our lives, there are so many skills that I believe are absolutely necessary to be successful. Most of these skills are skills that my husband reinforces and shows by example daily to his players.

  • How to handle Triumph & Failures
  • Teamwork (so many jobs REQUIRE this)
  • Discipline
  • Leadership

I honestly believe truly understanding and demonstrating these skills will help these young men be more successful at their jobs and relationships in general.

This game is my husband’s ministry and mission. He is not only trying to win games but he is mostly trying to win these boys. He wants to win over their hearts, minds, and trust. This is a bond that he shares with these boys that goes way beyond the field.

What’s even better is the bond my 6 year old son has with these players. He has 100 big brothers that are looking after him. They always make him feel like a part of the team. To see my son’s eyes light up when he is with them makes my heart so happy.

As you can see this game is so dear to all of our hearts! I am so thankful to be a part of something more than just a game. I love this Coach Wife Life!

Put me in Coach!

I hear the whispers and conversations. I hear you praying, pleading, & begging. I hear them asking if it has happened yet.

I’m ready Coach!

Do not let this heartache you feel steal your joy or hope. I know this is a heartache that you feel deep in your bones and it seems never-ending. I am a miracle and miracles take time, so just relax!

I’m eager Coach!

I know every month your dreams are being shattered. I know I am your deepest desire. I know I will be loved and cherished.

I’m anxiously waiting Coach!

I listen as my Sissy and Bubby pray for miracles. Do not let them give up. Teach them never to give up on someone or something that you love so deeply.

I’m hopeful Coach!

I know it isn’t easy when everyone else is getting exactly what you want. I know it’s not easy to smile when all you want to do is cry.  I know it’s not easy to wait your turn.

I’m all in Coach!

Mommy stop saying you are too old! Keep your faith that you will soon see two pink lines. It WILL happen.

I’m certainly determined Coach!

You are not alone in this battle. ALL of God’s promises are YES and AMEN. Stay strong Mommy and Daddy and please keep your faith!


Obviously Coach and I have been struggling with infertility, just as so many others.  I just want others like us to know all the feelings you’re feeling are normal.   If you have not suffered with infertility I, along with a few other women walking in my shoes ask a few things of you

-Pray for us.

-Please do not tell us to relax, or just adopt, or tell us it will happen.

-Please do not ask whose fault it is.  We are a couple.  We are one, we are either fertile or infertile as a couple.

-Do not feel sorry for us or tiptoe around us about your babies or pregnancies.  Yes, we struggle. But, we place our faith in God, lean on the grace of our marriage, and trust that someday we will see and understand God’s plan. 

Thank you for reading our story and walking with us during our journey. If you are walking this path like us please remember to stay strong and try your best to be positive. God hears your prayers. He put that desire in your heart and He WILL fulfill it. Here are a few Bible Verses to help keep you encouraged.                                                                                          

  • “He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord!” Psalm 113:9
  • “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13
  • “Isaac prayed to the LORD on behalf of his wife, because she was childless. The LORD answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant.” Genesis 25:21
  • “Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.” Psalm 37:5
  • “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11:24

I am blessed that my Coach is the one God chose for me. There’s no other life I’d rather live than a Coach Wife Life!